How to Handle Love from a Distance

Why this might have worked out for some people; for some others it is a very disastrous experience. Distance relationship is a difficult relationship to handle and it only takes mature minds to handle. Distance relationship is not in any way meant for teenagers; they find it difficult to handle and at the end it turns out to be a waste of time. Before you go into a distance relationship, there need to be an understanding by both parties involved. Most times even when there is an understanding, if one of the parties involved is not strong at heart or not supposedly wisened by age then it poses a threat to the relationship. Sincerely, if you cannot handle it, then do not start it at all.

Before you start off a distance relationship, there has to be a solid base before distance sets in. There has to be memories to fall back on, there has to be crazy happenings; a whole lot of sexual and intimate experience is imperative at this point; both parties need to leave something to fall back on so that in absence the feeling still remains strong. Well, in all fairness it takes the will of God and also strong will from both parties for this to happen. If you would have to leave your fiancé/fiancée for a long distance make sure you discuss this and understand the implications of what you are about to get into. First and foremost, both parties need to know their strengths and weaknesses. I would never go into a distance relationship with a lady that is very emotional; the reason is not far fetched. Chances are that she might get used to some other guy who is closer to her distance wise than you are; when this happens, she begins to act funny, changes in attitude and the way she responds to you. If she is truthful enough she might tell you there is another guy getting close to her, she might want to make you understand that there is nothing much going on but one day my dear friend, when she needs you to hold on to her, when she needs a shoulder too cry on, when she not only needs to talk to you on phone but to touch you and sink in your arms; and you happen not to be around her, I tell you the closer guy gets all the benefit. Even though there are emotional ladies that could be strong for you when you are far away, but it’s only in rare cases.

I once had a distance relationship; we barely spent a week together before we started off in a relationship. Though we were friends before we started off, but even at the friendship level we were not very close friends. I tried to make her understand what she was going into but she believed she could handle it, deep down inside of me I knew I could discipline myself a whole lot to handle this but I was really not convinced about her because she was a teenager who was still full of life and energy; I knew it would get to a point where she would want to explore and enjoy the good things of life with someone who is more closer to her than I was. Well, the relationship started up smoothly and blissfully with all the sparks and the whole love, love feelings. It felt rosy and seemed like it was not going to end. I tried to be faithful in every way; I am sure you know how difficult it is for a man to stick to one woman especially when he is far away from her. I had the opportunity to see some other girls but I kept up with the self discipline; months went by, I kept on with the calling and text messages. I spent the best part of my weekend composing text messages I was going to send to her during the week; I did this when I started working. Despite the work stress, I still tried to keep in touch and make her feel happy; well it lasted for a while.

It came to a point where things started changing in the relationship, she started acting funny. The sweetness began to disappear, the warm, loving voice on phone became coarse, the love, love feelings began to fade away. She began to sound more like an acquaintance than a lover; she began using unfriendly expressions whenever I called her on phone. I tried to call her to order by making her realize the changes in her attitude; I guess it fell on deaf ears and the more I talked about it, it seemed like I complained a whole lot. Well, the short of it all is that I had to let the bird fly instead of hurting myself.

Most of the distance relationship that thrives is because both are mature in mind and know what they want. We have seen online relationships that lead to real marriages; even though these days we have fake online relationships.lol. Most times we find out that the lady is far past the age of marriage and she has no choice but to stick to the available. Talking about online distance relationships, some start off without ever seeing each other physically. They only believe that they feel the other through their photographs. Well, I have seen some that worked anyway.

What I am trying to pin point is this, you should only start a distance relationship if both parties are mature enough to handle it. You need to understand yourselves a whole lot, you need to spend some time together before you start off. The sparks should always be fresh and memorable in order for the relationship to survive. You could take good intense photographs of yourselves; it keeps it fresh even when you are away from each other. You should always keep in touch through mobile phones, yahoo chat with a webcam, skype, facebook etc. I suggest a cam to cam chat; it helps even though you can’t feel yourself physically. Learn to d crazy things from the far end, there should not be any form of suspicion whatsoever; there needs to be a very high level of trust because the moment you begin to have doubt and trust issue, the relationship is heading for the rocks. Try to visit once in a while; though it might be difficult, if you seize the opportunity to know someone who travels to your partner’s destination, you could send gifts, letters, photos etc. through this medium.

The simple truth is this, if you cannot cope with it then please do not start. You will end up wasting your time; if you think you can handle it, then follow your mind and stick to some of the points above. You are not entirely confined to the words on this page, you could add your own flavors.

The Simple Truth About Love

Every man desires a partner; and so does every woman. People feel the need to love and be loved in return not just by members of their families but by friends, colleagues, boy friend, girl friend etc. When it comes to relationship, love should really be defined. It has come to my understanding that the word LOVE has been so misused and that people no longer value it. Sometimes when a teenager says “I love you”, it simply means I want to have sex with you. The big question is this “Is LOVE all about SEX”? Why do we say we love for the single reason that we want to have sex with people? Ok let’s get back to the basics; Jesus Christ said he loves us and he proved it by dying for us on the cross. Now that is what we call sacrificial and unconditional love, love without attachment, undiluted love. Does it really exist in our time? Please do not quote me wrong, I am not saying you should die for someone in order to prove that you love him/her. What I am trying to say is that there has to be a genuine reason for loving someone; it could be their behavior, their reasoning, their Charisma etc. It should not be because they have got nice boobs, butts, or wonderful facial looks; what if those things fade away? Does it mean you are going to keep jumping from one standard one to the other?

Falling in love is a wonderful experience, everybody needs to feel it, it feels so good to be in love; but how does it feel to fall out of love? Aw! I am sure you don’t want to experience it, you become a shadow of yourself in most cases, you no longer have the appetite to enjoy even your best meal, you become an object of pity, some people resort to drinking excessive alcohol to compensate for the situation, isn’t it crazy? In order to avoid situations where you get hurt because you loved someone, you have to first and foremost understand what love stands for; this is where most people make mistakes. Love is giving and not receiving; it means giving your heart and all no matter the looks of the person you are giving to, it means listening attentively to problems of your partner and offering genuine solutions, it means going the extra mile to better the life of your partner, it means having a genuine interest and understanding the totality of your partner, it means correcting the wrongs of your partner, love is action and not words; why most people have to say the word “I love you”, most people act it.

Six years ago I was talking to a Priest; he told me the story of a young woman who walked up to him to start up a discussion. Well, she did not have the slightest idea that he was a priest; during their course of discussion she said she loved him and he asked her a simple question, “Why do you love me”? She said I don’t know, I just love you maybe because you are handsome. Well he was pissed and he said, what if I had an accident that disfigured my looks before now would you have loved me? She looked him in the eyes and answered, of course not! He said to her, if I have an accident after getting married to you, it means you are just going to walk out of my life; she was speechless.

What I want you to understand is this, love should be defined; do not fall in love instead rise in love. Love because you have a genuine reason to do so. Do not love for attributes that can fade away; you would definitely regret it. Before you open your mouth to say you love someone, please think and be sure you mean it.

I wish you a happy love life.

How to Make Your Man Stick to You Like Glue

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When a man has his eyes outside a relationship he is into, it means his woman has failed to give him something he desires and hence he has decided to search for it elsewhere. The fact that men are polygamous is undeniable; the majority of men cannot stick to a woman for natural reasons, it only takes an exposed and understanding woman to be able to make her man stick to her like plasma in blood. Only if a woman can understand the totality of man can she be able to achieve this.

Have you ever seen man brag about a woman tirelessly? Yes! I have seen situations where a man while having a can of beer with his friends talks about his woman; not withstanding the fact that there is a normal saying that goes “women are unstable and can never be trusted, they are mall the same”, most women have a way of winning their man’s heart. The simple secret is this, give to him what every other woman cannot give to him; even if he is a womanizer, he would still long to come back to you because he cannot get what you give to him outside.

If you want your man to stay glued to you at all times, then you can apply the following principles:

1. Treat your man like his mother would do: Every man needs a woman that would treat him just like his mother does; every man needs a woman to pamper him and address his needs. First and foremost you must know his best meal and know how to prepare it in a special way. When a man realizes that his woman treats him to special delicacies, he cannot help but think of running back home immediately after work. While he is on his PC at work, he keeps creating mental pictures of what awaits him at home. It is not just a matter of preparing the food; it is also a matter of making him feel warm and comfortable when he gets back home. Give him a peck on the cheek or a kiss as he comes back home from work, ask him how his day at work went; make sure you listen to him attentively as he speaks, if he encountered any problem at work, try to proffer solutions. Help him take off his clothes and shoes, prepare the bath for him to wash his body and get comfortable; as he does that make sure the table is set for dinner. Spoon feed him if possible, make sure your man is comfortable with this; if he is not then do not bother about it.

Countless number of times I hear a man brag about a woman, this is the first thing he talks about; he tells his friend my woman “Is like my mother”, she treats me right and I cannot look outside.

2. Dress to kill: I tell you, a woman without a good dress sense is bound to drive her man out of a relationship. Men like to brag about their woman and as such would always be of the view that their woman should look gorgeous at all times. It does not matter whether you are beautiful or not, your dressing and appearance always have a way of making you outstanding. Please always dress well to suit occasions; even when you are at home, put on clothes that reveal the most part of you; after all it’s your home. Make him desire you all the time, make him dream of you at all times by dressing well and looking good. When a woman dresses well you would always hear her man brag about her continuously, I remember vividly a guy comparing his wife with Beyonce because she meets up with standard of Beyonce in appearance.

3. Don’t snoop into his affairs: Women who are always reading the text messages on their man’s phone and asking questions like “Who is this and who is that” would end up pushing their man outside. While it is a man’s world to cheat, it is a woman’s bit to understand and play cool; after all while should he cheat when you give him all he wants. When he receives a suspecting phone call and starts acting funny, just smile and nod your head; you don’t need to ask him, he would tell you immediately.

4. Make him your best friend: Always make sure you are there for your man when he needs you to talk to, make sure you give him a listening ear, and make sure you are interested in his affairs and business. Joke with your man when need be, talk to him and advice him when he needs it, play games with him, try to make him happy at all times, put him in a situation that he tells you everything that happens to him on a daily basis; you can only achieve this by also being open to him. You can start up with “ Can you imagine what happened to me today, there was this silly guy that tried to woo me even after he saw the ring on my finger; I gave him the worst embarrassment of his life”, things like that makes a man comfortable and trust you more like a friend.

5. Maintain a good sexual life: This is what you don’t want to mess around with if you must keep your man. Understand his sexual life and appetite and try as much as you can to fulfill it. Try to understand when and how he likes to have sex, try to understand his mood, try to give him a wonderful sexual experience; one that he desires at all times. While some men like women that are sexually exposed and are filled with varieties of sex styles, others do not. This could be because of the single reason that if a man finds out his woman has an insatiable appetite for sex and comes up with different styles he becomes insecure, he might begin to lack trust. Things like this should be discussed, make sure he enjoys having sex with you, make it a memorable one for him so he keeps coming to you at all times.

6. Buy him gifts: It is not always a man’s bit to surprise his partner with gifts; it is also the responsibility of a woman to shower her man with gifts. Change his under wear; buy him some new clothes, cologne and stuffs. Surprise him with things he loves most, this adds spice to the relationship.

7. Always pray with your man: They say prayer is the master key; if you wake up every morning to say a little prayer together with your man, I see no reason why he should not stay glued to you. Men do have conscience; believe me when I say that; even the hardest men still have their soft spot. If he remembers that he said a little prayer with his woman before leaving for work, it makes him feel guilty if he tries to cheat. Like they say, a family that prays together stays together.

I hope I have been able to help you, I wish you a successful relationship. Please make sure you adhere to the afore listed points.

How to Foster a Long Lasting Relationship

You remember the feeling you felt the last time you fell in love with somebody? Remember the excitation, the goose pimples, the butterflies you felt in your stomach, you remember how you could not stay one second away from that her without having to think about her, remember when you sit in front of your computer at work and all you could look out is her picture set as your wallpaper, when the system times out her picture still remains your screen saver.

These feelings are every bit natural when we connect to the ones we love, it is not abnormal for a man or a woman to feel that way; the BIG QUESTION is this, why do these feelings fade away after sometime? Why does it linger for sometime and not forever? Why does she/he become so uninteresting after sometime? Why then do we talk about break up? It really baffles me when things like this happen, but the problem lies within us.

Getting a soul mate is what everybody desires, every man needs a woman and so does a woman need a man. No matter how hard we try to hide our feelings; for those women who play hard to get, I know fully well that in the secret place of your heart you still desire a man, you still have a crush on somebody.lol. That is by the way, let us focus more on getting a soul mate and staying glued to the soul mate.

How do we intend to foster a long lasting relationship

1. Be Yourself (Don't Tell Lies)

I laugh when I see a young man trying to pull up an impression of what he is not, he flaunts his friend's car and even clothes so as to impress a lady. The big question is this; for how long is he going to continue in living a false life? How long does he think it is going to take before the lady finds out? First things first in a relationship is to act natural. Remain firm in the tone of your voice; sometimes we try to change our accent just to sound sweet to the lady. It's good though but, believe me I have tried it and it worked.lol. The downside is that as time goes on, maybe three four months into the relationship, you begin to sound normal again and then she thinks you have changed, she thinks you are no longer sweet. My candid advice is to start of real, with everything natural.

You must have heard that most women like to listen to lies. Yes! It's sweet to tell sweet lies to make her go crazy; that's if it is a fling. If you are in for a serious long lasting relationship, I repeat please STAY LIE FREE! The moment your spouse realizes that you have been living a life full of lies, the trust is betrayed and then the relationship begins to crumble slowly; quarrel abounds because there is no more trust.

Let me tell you a little story; Jackson 27 was a Janitor in a top Insurance Company. After work one day, he was standing at the road side hoping to get a cab and then he locked eyes with this alluring damsel, his eyes skipped a beat and then he caught a hold of himself, walked up to her and opened up a conversation. He introduced himself to her and she introduced herself as Sharon and they kept talking, along the line she asked him what he did for a living. Jackson told her that he worked with an Insurance Company. Sharon was bent on knowing his designation in the Company and s she asked further, Jackson lied he was the Managing Director; unknown to Jackson, Sharon's brother happened to work in that same Company. They exchanged numbers and Jackson left. Sharon got home and asked her brother about the Managing Director of the Company where he worked; she was so excited but to her utmost disappointment her brother told her the MD did not go by the name Jackson. She was dumbstruck that she called Jackson immediately, the young man started blabbing and that was it. She called the shot immediately.

I repeat do not pretend to be somebody else, it does you know good. You only get the pleasure for a while and before you know it, you have lost it all. It is better to be your little self and find true long lasting love.

2. Be Unpredictable

This applies to both Men and Ladies alike, people do not enjoy the Company of those who do same old things everyday; believe me ladies don't like predictable men. This is the reason why you see a lady in a relationship with a decent and quiet young man, he loves her with his life but he is not spontaneous.Women like spice, they like change, the like variation, they like their man to be able to do crazy things at unexpected times. Doing same things over and over again in a relationship is like eating same food over and over again, one day you get tired of it. Same goes for a relationship, if you want to keep your relationship then you have to be able to effect changes.

2 years ago I saw this movie, I can't remember the name now; but there was this funny scene I kept watching over and over again. The scene showed a young man and his mum on his High School graduation day, his girl friend walked up to him and said " I want out of the relationship" and he said " Why is that"? " What have I done wrong", and she said, you have done nothing wrong, you are a good guy, you are good Company but you are just too predictable.lol. He opened his mouth in awe and she walked away. That was it! So you see my dear friend, you should always do things differently, if you can't please learn how to do it; watch movies, read books... learn from friends and others in a relationship. This is imperative; it should not be taken for granted, that's if you wish to keep your relationship. Guys listen up! You can take your woman out on a surprise sea cruise, take her to exotic places she's never been, you can write her a message in a bottle telling her how much you love her, you could surprise her with roses at strategic places in the house, just do something different; make sure you stand out from the men she's ever dated. That gives you an edge and believe me, she would never want to be without you.

3. Build a strong friendship

Your romantic relationship needs to have the stability and deep roots that come from a strong friendship. With a meaningful friendship as its basis, your relationship becomes stronger and more lasting.

When you work hard to construct a strong friendship, you can be assured that your relationship is ready to weather whatever life may throw at you in the future.
If your goal is to create a stronger bond with your partner, take the time to think about what it is you'd like from your partner. Give those things to your partner, and you'll almost always find the answers you seek about how to create a nurturing relationship.

4. Respect your partner

Always respect your partner in every way to build a lasting and positive relationship with them. Respect is an important building block of any relationship.

Respect your partner not only in a physical sense, but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well.

5. Give 100%

First and foremost, if you want to build a relationship that's positive, passionate, and withstanding, you need to give 100% of yourself. This is one of the most important things for success, not only in your relationships, but life in general.

There's no "50/50" when it comes to giving in a relationship. You've got to give freely of yourself if it's going to work. It's almost impossible to receive from your partner if you don't give in return.

Remember the golden rule. When you fully give of yourself, the other person will see the effort you're making and soon begin to reciprocate with the same type of behavior.